After a couple of weeks of us asking one another if it would look like a bit of an ego trip… we decided to brave it and see what questions you’ve got for us after cycle touring for just over 8 months. We’re so happy we did! Lots of amazing questions came in, so a big thank you!
We promised to answer them all, so we’ve got quite a long post here. Hopefully you find it as interesting to read as we did to write (somehow after 8 months of living in one another’s pockets there’s still always something to talk or think about, and this has just added to those conversations). We’ve sometimes agreed and sometimes not, but to save a little space, we’ve not both answered all of them…
Julie from Calderdale wondered in what way(s) has anything on your travels to date genuinely, maybe scarily, pushed you out of your comfort zone? And though the trip’s not over yet, what (so far) would you do differently?
Matt: I’ve felt genuinely happy and contented on this trip so far – it’s mostly brilliant being outside all day and night, riding my bike every day and seeing the world – but of course there have been hard sections, some frustratingly poor drivers and sleep deprived weeks. Many people asked me when I was leaving if I was ‘scared’ (or similar) about what we were embarking on. Selling the house, stopping work, cycling towards the ever-elusive horizon, living in a tent, carrying all our kit and being just the two of us for a year. I’ve been genuinely excited by that prospect, and still am. So my answer to people was always the same: the prospect of going home scares me. Life before I left was often feeling a little bit lost – where do we want to live, what do I want to do for work, how will it feel being childless when it was what we wanted. Selling stuff, packing stuff up, saying goodbye was emotionally hard but also kind of straightforward.
The good news is we’re definitely coming back, and hope to be in the UK for early June. I’m excited to come home; we’ve started to answer lots of those questions and I’m looking forward to getting started on them, seeing people and enjoying living in a house again! But I know I’ll also be sad that this amazing adventure will be over.
And what would we do differently? Great question. Some kit has failed and been replaced, some things we’ve sent home as we weren’t using. I think that’s a whole blog in itself at some point – but for now, we’re feeling like the trip is giving us exactly what we want: adventure, safety, challenge, culture. There’s numerous ways to cycle round the world – and our way of doing it is definitely working for us.
Sarah: For me – being pushed out of my comfort zone on this trip is definitely more frequent than for Matt. Just deciding to do this in the first place felt very scary to me – a big leap into the unknown. As we’ve made our way ever eastwards and southwards different things have scared me at different times. It would be a long list if I included them all but here’s a few: cars, doggos, steep uphills, steep downhills, ridiculous side winds, chunky gravel, Australian Magpies and thunderstorms.
My comfort zone is definitely not riding my bike every day (and sleeping in a tent every night) with unknown dangers (or perceived dangers) around each corner. However, I read something the other day that reminded me of the power of fear – ‘I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.’ (Louise May Alcott).
I’m still afraid but learning how to handle and overcome fear is all a big part of this journey for me, and probably life in general for all of us.
I like this one too: ‘Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.’ (Dale Carnegie). We’ve definitely been busy!
Karen, a lovely cycle tourer from Lake Michigan that we met on the Danube asked if we wear padded bike shorts? Or if you have ridden so many miles that padded shorts are no longer necessary?
Matt: I ALWAYS wore padded bike shorts (those fetching Lycra bib shorts with a chamois cushion in the gusset) in the UK, but Sarah told me about how lots of cycle tourers swear by Brooks leather saddles as being a way of going cushion-free. I was very sceptical – I’ve clocked up thousands of miles with no bum soreness in the way I was used to, but that was with washing and drying my bib shorts whilst living in a house! The thought of handwashing and trying to dry my bibs each night to keep my skin nice and healthy didn’t appeal to me at all. And carrying multiple bibs would be a pain. Sarah was right! I now ride in just a pair of polyester Alpkit hiking/gravel riding shorts with pockets – the saddle took a little breaking in, but it’s now perfectly moulded to the shape of my tush.
Sarah: Despite being the one who came up with the Brooks leather saddle game changer, I have unfortunately not been able to wean myself off padded shorts. There are days when I don’t wear them but for longer rides I still find a chamois essential. I travel with two pairs which means I can alternate/wash. I have still had the odd rear end ‘problem’, clearly my bottom is more delicate than Matt’s!
Nick, one of Matt’s friends from his time teaching in Japan, wanted to know “How do you ‘enjoy the journey’ or are there just some days when all you can think about is the destination? Speaking of destinations can you ever see yourself returning to a desk and a computer job? Will you have biked more miles or flown more miles in 2023?
Sarah: Great question and one that is quite hard to answer. Honestly, there have been quite a few days when I have kilometre counted pretty much all day, willing us to our destination. Even some days when I’m really enjoying the riding I will find myself doing mental arithmetic working out what % of the ride we’ve completed, how many kilometres there are left once we’ve done another 10km etc etc.
There have been other moments, sections, whole days and even weeks when I really feel present, and am enjoying the moment for what it is – pretty awesome. Impossible to do constantly though due to external factors (see the fear list above) but also just the nature of this trip. Riding every day becomes routine/normal and you can’t be ecstatic all the time when something is routine/normal. I do try to savour the moments when I am appreciating it though. One way (that works for me) is if we’re doing a really fun swoopy descent, or maybe a fast/flat bit I will let out a loud ‘wooohoooo’. There’s something about shouting at the top of your voice with joy which really amplifies the joy. I would recommend it!
Woohoo-ing is of course something that I don’t generally do when sitting at a desk at work (although it might have been known now and again!) I do love my job though and am very fortunate to work with some fantastic colleagues doing really important things in a great city. So I will be returning to the desk, mid June 2024 to be precise.
Biking vs flying… this one took a little working out Nick! Matt has now ridden 13,491km since leaving Lincolnshire (he likes to ride his bike on days he doesn’t need to… so his distance is a tiny bit further than mine!) As for flying, we’ve clocked up 15,978km. This of course is one way of counting distance. Matt has also calculated elevation gained which interestingly is 55,000m by plane and 139,503m on the bike. Gulps!
Lourabelle, one of Sarah’s work colleagues, wanted to know if we have learnt anything new about ourselves/each other?
Sarah: Another great question! I’ve thought about this one a lot and I would say that I haven’t learnt anything profoundly new about myself/or Matt. It’s maybe been more about seeing things I already knew were there in a different way, or personality traits that I always had being more amplified.
Dogged determination has definitely come to the fore, which comes with a bit of a stubborn streak (in both of us). I don’t think I give up easily – I never did, but somehow this trip has taught me that the rewards of not giving up (generally) outweigh the hard work required to keep going.
I have maybe also learnt how important the very simplest of things in life are to me: a hot shower, settled weather, a comfy pillow. I’ve maybe learnt to appreciate these things more too.
We had someone contact us on WhatsApp with a question we wondered if someone would be brave enough to ask: Has the adventure, and all it has entailed, helped to soothe your wish of starting your own biological family together? Based on this, how and what would you say to another couple, in the same position as yourselves before you decided to do this big trip?
Sarah: Thanks for this question (which Matt has delegated to me to answer..!) When we received it we had a good chat over a big carton of chocolate milk in a random place called Brontë Park (Tasmania) about our answer. The first reaction is, yes. It has helped to soothe us both. This might just be the curing power of time passing (it has been well over a year now since we came to the end of our final round of IVF). But it also might be the sensation of finding joy, satisfaction and challenge in a completely different way to the way we would have, if we had become parents. We’ve also had an opportunity to think and reflect about what is important to us going forward. What does life look like for us? This has maybe been a more recent conversation topic and one that we approach now with a basis of, what might we (can we) prioritise now that we won’t be parents? This opens up a lot of doors (whilst we’re aware of the doors that have closed for us too).
However, this has not been a silver bullet of course. I’m still very sad and feel real pangs on occasion (sometimes in the most surprising circumstances). I think I always will.
What would I/we say to another couple? If they were us, I’d say ‘go for it’ but every couple is different and after the strains that multiple rounds of IVF put on every couple who experiences it, I’m not sure I’d recommend to all of those couples that the best next step is spending 24/7 together on a bike/in a tent!
I would say that for anyone who has come out of the other side of a fertility journey without the child they longed for, to accept that you will feel sad (sometimes really sad), but that you will also heal. The two aren’t mutually exclusive – in fact for me, accepting the sadness has been part of healing.
Life is wonderful, exciting, scary and always involves some suffering. But living the life you’re given to the full (whatever that means for you) is the only option. Right?
The very enthusiastic Jenny, one of Matt’s colleagues, asked nearly as many questions as our Mums do on phone calls home. Here goes…
1. What are your Christmas Day plans this year? We’re in Auckland – which feels a lot like coming home! After getting married in 2012 we moved to Auckland for three very happy years – Matt worked at a hospital and Sarah at the council. So we’ve been busy catching up with friends and enjoying house-sitting for Mary, one of Matt’s ex-colleagues. Christmas Day was the two of us, minimal gifts (can’t carry them!) but maximum food and some good Sauvignon Blanc from the South Island.
2. What’s the hottest you’ve been and where were you? The hottest we’ve cycled was South Korea, but we’ve since learnt it’s the humidity that is the bigger problem in the countries we’re touring in. 35 degrees is doable, but when it’s 100% humidity sweating doesn’t work! My GPS unit has a temperature gauge on it, but it’s black and it sits in the sun outside shops sometimes… so I take the max temperatures it sometimes says in the 50s with a pinch of salt!
3. What’s the coldest you’ve been and where were you? We’ve seen 1 degree in Japan, but that was overnight and we were in bed! But it often got down to 3 degrees from about 7pm. The coldest we’ve cycled was 5 degrees: in Australia!
4. What meal will you make a bee-line for when you get home? I’ll put the request in now: Clare Cope, please make me the biggest lasagne you’ve ever created, an entire baguette of very garlicky very buttery composition – followed by your rather lovely lemon meringue. Please.
5. Favourite exact spot/view so far? (I’m terrible at choosing favourites, so shouldn’t really be asking this) So many! Maybe I’ll do a blog about my favourite photos I’ve taken – but this is probably my favourite photo of a ‘cycling’ view I’ve taken so far:
Bridgett (59, from Boston) can lay claim to offering us a bed on the very first night of this adventure – when we were at our freshest and cleanest. Perhaps on a related note she asked: How do you motivate ourselves to get back on the bikes each day? And I’ve asked your mum on numerous occasions “How many pairs of pants have you taken with you?”
Matt: The motivation for me is quite simple really… I LOVE riding my bike. I absolutely love it. We’re seeing stunning scenery nearly every single day, and trying to craft a route that provides adventure, safety, touristy things and amazing views. That in itself I find hugely motivating. I wake most mornings tired and a bit sore, but the riding we’re doing is mostly quite slow and steady (though climbing fully loaded hurts!) so we’re not digging ourselves into a hole each day. But once you’re awake… the exciting world you arrived at the previous day is outside waiting for you!
And as for pants… I have one pair of boxers with me. That’s right – I’ve left home for what will be 14 months and I’ve got one pair of grundies with me. I don’t wear any in the day (see earlier comment about saddles!) and as soon as I get to a campsite, I’m into the shower so I’m clean to put my boxers on. It works for me – but you do need to stay on top of your washing!
Peter, someone Matt has endured working with over the years, knows what’s important in life. Peter asked us where has been the most comfortable seat we’ve found on your travels?
Matt: Three answers come to mind, so I’ll share them all!
1: Cycling through Europe we followed the Rhine and Danube for many days. The river flows through lots of villages and towns (with lots of bakeries) where we stocked up and then cycled on our way again, saying we’d stop at the next riverside bench. But the next one was by a road. And the next had no shade and the sun was hot. And the next one would have a perfect view, no road noise and a tree to sit under – but a stinking bin next to it. Onwards we would go waiting for the perfect bench for a break. And just like that you’ve cycled past five benches and nearly an hour has passed. I think there’s a lesson for life there! We now use the mantra of “If I fits, I sits”.
2: The silliest (but amazing) chair was in Takayama, Japan. It was a beautiful city filled with amazing shrines, shops and streets. But we ended up in a furniture shop; sitting at dining tables, looking at the wonderful storage in sideboards and relaxing in big armchairs. We weren’t homesick, but we do miss the simple things that you can take for granted in a house!
3: The comfiest is the chair Sarah carries for me each day. Similar to the leather saddle, I took some convincing that carrying two lightweight chairs is worth the effort. I’m totally an advocate for them now – you can go to the secluded area of a campsite, away from facilities and noise. You can enjoy the view. You can wander to the beach to sit and watch the sunset. Being comfy after a day of exertion is really important – and it’s even lovelier when someone carries it for you!
Maggie, our wonderful neighbour in Hebden Bridge and fellow lover of travel (with husband Richard) and campervan-touring said – ‘Lots of great questions so far, which I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts on. I was going to ask which is your favourite country but I think I know the answer to that one already. My question (well, I’ve got lots but will stick to one): What has been the biggest surprise of your journey?’
Sarah: Yes… Japan! But we’ve waxed lyrical already about why it was such a special place to go to and tour around. Of course we are now in New Zealand, another special place so you never know, the answer might change in a couple of months!
So, the biggest surprise? It’s maybe not a surprise, more a realisation that having comfort and familiarity are really important in life (even if it’s only a little bit of comfort, and something familiar). On this very long trip, where for long stretches there has been no ‘end’ or return ‘home’ in sight, a feeling of safety, security and being ‘at home’ has been really important. The surprising bit has been that it’s very possible to create this with just our tent, our chairs, our sleeping beds, sleeping bags and pillows. Wherever we pitch the tent, it’s always the same inside. The familiarity of this is very comforting and as a result I’m pretty sure I now sleep better in the tent than anywhere else! (Don’t worry though, we will definitely be back in the California [our campervan for everyone else reading] on our return!)
Tess from Wales always makes us think with her words and her actions, and she asked us how easy/hard has it been to live in the present while on your trip? I spend a lot of time trying to be more mindful these days but I imagine cycling while being present is actually quite hard.
Sarah: You’re right Tess, as mentioned above in my answer to Nick’s question – sometimes it is difficult to live in the present, particularly when cycling and you find yourself counting down the kilometres to our destination (literally wishing your life away!)
However, on a bigger scale I do think living the life we are currently leading has helped me/us be more mindful. This isn’t a forever way of living – as mentioned above, we are going to come back to some sort of normal life. It’s not a short trip either – it’s long enough to not feel rushed or pressured to appreciate it to the maximum, all of the time. I think this combination of something that isn’t forever but is for a long time creates the right conditions to be more mindful. To appreciate the present, how fortunate we are to be at the top of a beautiful mountain in Bulgaria, or eating street food in Thailand, or soaking in an onsen in Japan. To enjoy the simple things (food, bed, our health) and sometimes even really savour those things too. I really (really) hope I can continue to appreciate the little things and the bigger ‘moments’ when we get back. After all life isn’t forever, but it’s not a short trip either.
Matt’s Mum produced two lovely offspring. One is shorter and stockier, whilst I am an easily breakable stick insect. She asks ‘how are your bodies standing up to the constant long distance cycling?’ Have you both developed huge quads etc?
Matt: I do feel quite fortunate that neither of us have had an injury yet from the exercise, notwithstanding a couple of bumps and falls! I think it really helps that we’ve done a lot of cycling before, and very little of the cycling we’re doing is of a high intensity – so whilst we’re always quite tired we’re never pushing ourselves into a red zone. Though chugging into a headwind or climbing fully loaded does hurt! I had great plans for doing some yoga each night and keeping my body limber, but have probably stretched 10 times on this trip – mostly when an ITB hurts. And then I stop stretching two days later when it’s good again! The biggest thing we’ve done is listen to our bodies – if you’re tired, take it easy. If you need a rest day, take it. If you’re thirsty or hungry, sort it out: digging yourself out of a hole isn’t a luxury we’ve got, so it’s best not to get too deep!
Our body shapes haven’t changed that much. I’ve lost a couple of kg, even though I’m eating lots. Both our hands have callouses even though we’re wearing gloves! We’re both physically stronger – Sarah used to struggle to lift her bike up off the floor, but can now toss it around like she’s the Hulk. And my thighs and tan lines have definitely changed!
And Jamie, Sarah’s brother in law up in Scotland, wanted to know if there was something particular you’ve learned from the trip that you’d like to share? Maybe a piece of wisdom (or more than one) that you’ve gained? It could be life changing or just a small (very small!) every day thing.
I think this one could be a good one for both of us to answer!
Matt: Sarah and I are in a bit of a pressure cooker on this trip. We’re all each other has got for company, except for strangers we meet or infrequent meet-ups with friends. We’re often sleepy, more than likely quite fatigued and definitely always hungry. Add in to that we live in each other’s pockets, it’s pretty good that we’re still going!
I think the biggest learning point for me is to ‘own’ what you want or need. For example, we both made the mistake early on of asking if we can stop for a wee – which we didn’t need permission for! It was also very frustrating if the other person responds by saying they dont need one, and then you get offended that they didn’t ask you back! Another example of this is asking the other person ‘do you want a coffee?’ We soon learnt that phrasing what you need in this quite British and polite way is not at all helpful. It’s far better to say what you want: I’m stopping for a wee. Or… ‘I’d really enjoy a coffee stop, how does that sound to you?’ It’s important we keep our own autonomy in this trip, rather than become an amorphous duo, but it’s also a recipe for disaster if you can’t say to the other person what you need. You can imagine how this extends to rest days, hot drinks, cool drinks, going a bit faster to warm up, slowing down as you’re tired, stopping sooner as you’re a bit broken. You get the picture! When I get back, I’m going to carry this on: saying how I feel or what I see, with honesty but kindness.
Sarah: For me it’s been to constantly check in with ourselves that this trip is giving us both what we want/need, and not what we think it ‘should’ be.
We constantly remind each other that we’re not here to set records or ‘win’ something (as you know, we’re the sort of people who need to be reminded of this). We’re not trying to achieve a fixed goal, complete a set route or do it quicker/lighter/cheaper than the next cycle tourer.
This trip isn’t about comparing ourselves to anyone else, something that I think in a bigger way a lot of people do on a daily basis. Is my house big enough? Am I paid as much as my ‘peers’? Is my car new enough?
I think we knew that comparisons aren’t actually important before this trip but the daily act of remembering to enjoy what we want to enjoy, go where we want to go, cycle the route we want to ride – not because it’s ‘better’ or ‘worse’ than the alternatives, or what other people are doing but because WE like it, has been a big learning point and one which I will definitely carry forward.
Hopefully you enjoyed hearing a bit more about the things we haven’t discussed before! It’s been great to ponder on these.
And that means it’s time to sign off on this blog. Today is Boxing Day here in NZ – so a happy belated Christmas to everyone, thanks for following our madness this year and here’s to where the road takes us next in 2024!
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